Intelligent Submission, Part 1

Submission is one of those subjects that cannot be talked about without making enemies. Yet, submission is a central concept of the New Covenant. We cannot reconnect until we learn to submit to one another.

Yes, submission is mutual, just as resisting is mutual. We all resist the will of others; sometimes it is a good thing (when submission would lead to evil), other times it is not such a good thing (when submission would lead to peace).

The Greek philosopher, Plato, gives us an idea how the Greeks understood the words that are related to submission:

The name 'hekousion' expresses the fact that it signifies yielding and not resisting, but yielding, as I said before, to the motion (eikon toi ionti) - the one that comes into being in accord with our wish. 'Anankaion' ('compulsory') and 'antitupnon' ('resistant'), on the other hand, since they signify motion contrary to our wish, are  associated with 'error' and 'ignorance'.

We find the same words in Philemon 14:

Whom I would have retained with me, that in thy stead he might have ministered unto me in the bonds of the gospel: But without thy mind [opinion, resolve] would I do nothing; that thy benefit should not be as it were of necessity (anagke), but willingly (hekousion) (Philemon 13-14, KJV).

Mutual submission expects us to consider the feelings and interests of others (Phil 2). It doesn't allow some to force their opinions on others - not even in marriage.

From Intelligent Submission & Other Ways of Feminine Wisdom:

If the husband‟s authority is only about decisions, and if women are equally competent decision makers, perhaps the husband‟s authority is really about preferences?
- How can you say such a thing, gasps Professor Loki.
- Easily, for if the man is a relative lord, also the wife‟s obedience must be relative; in other words, the wife must use discernment to determine whether a request is moral or not, which leaves only amoral preferences as the one thing a wife must always obey.
- The wife needs to do no such thing for the man‟s authority was given to secure the holiness of the family, says Professor Loki with a stern voice.
- But if the husband believes his commandment to be biblical, and the wife doesn't, should the wife not dissent?
- It is the husband‟s responsibility to be the priest in the home and to know what the Bible says.
- I thought you said the wife was ultimately responsible to God for her own behavior?
- Yes, but the man is responsible for his wife, answers a visibly annoyed Professor Loki.
- Aren't the two concepts in conflict with each other?
- There is no conflict for the husband is to his wife what Christ is for the church.
- Are you saying that what Christ is, the husband should be?
- Yes, Christ is king, prophet, and priest for the church and that is what a man should be for his own wife, Professor Loki says with pomp.
- Why stop there?
- What do you mean?
- Why not say the husband should also forgive his wife‟s sins, heal her body, exorcise demons, and resurrect her body?
- Of course a man cannot do those things, only God can! exclaims a wide-eyed Professor Loki.
- So we must limit ourselves to the things a man can do.
- Yes, of course we must!
- Then a husband cannot decide alone what is biblical for he is not infallible the way Christ is, and he must acknowledge as much in his dealings with his wife, who in turn must use her own judgment.

Even in marriage God expects us to consider the feelings and interests of others, for it is through mutual submission that humans connect, and remain connected. Selfish ambition disconnects humans, as it leads us to seek only our own interests at the expense of others. Of course those who are enthralled with their own ambitions won't agree with mutual submission; how could they?