Contra CBMW: What Makes a Woman Feminine?

The following is found on CBMW's Facebook page: 

"The Lord God made Eve as a woman before He brought her to Adam. It bears repeating. Eve was fully feminine before Adam laid claim to her as bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh. It is immensely important that we single women acknowledge that our femininity is God’s initiative and creation. We aren’t feminine because a man is pursuing us. We aren’t less feminine because no man is pursuing us. Our femininity is not dependent on marriage or motherhood to be fully expressed. We are feminine from the moment we are conceived because that is God’s design, and He has a purpose for our femininity throughout various seasons of our lives.” -Carolyn McCulley, Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye: Trusting God With a Hope Deferred (p.51).

If the single woman finds her identity in Christ, why does the married woman find it in the man? Why are we told that it is the woman's body, her ability to bear children, that determines her place in the world, if a woman can be a woman without motherhood?

Why is it that a "recovering feminist" claims feminism is "anti-marriage, anti-childrearing," if any woman can choose to remain single and yet be just as feminine as her married sisters? (See http://cbmw.org/women/womanhood/confessions-of-a-recovering-feminist-3/)

What makes a woman feminine?

Is it deference to men? Or is it something deeper than that? Something God put in women when he created the first woman?

CBMW tries to say yes to both. On the one hand, all women must marry and have children; it's their created "role." Yet, it is equally acceptable to remain unmarried, especially if it is difficult to find a husband, for although married women find their identity in their role as a wife and mother, single women find their identity in Christ.

But why does Paul want us to be "found in Christ" and not to seek our identity from other humans (Phil 3:4-9)? Paul, or rather Saul, gloried in his ancestry, his ability to perform the requirements of the law on his own, with his own body, his own effort. He set all of it aside when he met Jesus, for he realized that his identity, who he was, was found only in Christ.

If a single woman can follow Paul, why should a married woman be stuck with Saul in glorying in her own ability to perform the requirements of her created role, with her own body, her own effort? Why can she not set all of it aside, and realize that her identity is found only in Christ? Why can she not affirm that motherhood is a blessing but not a requirement, for she is a woman because of God's creation, not because of her own. Why can she not recognize that femininity is nothing other than a human construction that tries to explain why a woman shouldn't seek equality with men, for equality is said to make women masculine, and men feminine?

Biblical equality doesn't create confusion; the human constructions of masculinity and femininity that try to explain what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman are the source of the confusion. Hence the ambivalence towards marriage and singleness. Equality affirms that men are men, and women are women, regardless of what they do with their bodies. This is something that CBMW cannot do.