We Need to Talk About This

Words make things real for us; things that we wouldn't otherwise see or experience. But words can also hide things from us, especially when we refuse to hear or talk about things.

Hiding unpleasant realities helps us convince ourselves and others that our system, or belief, produces what it says it does. When it doesn't, we can always say that there must be something wrong with people, for no one else has had that problem - that we've heard of.

But such chosen ignorance comes with a cost, not only for others, but also ourselves.

We have lifeguards to prevent people from drowning, police officers to keep us safe, doctors to keep us healthy. What if a lifeguard wasn't taught how to do CPR, or a police officer didn't know how to gather evidence, or a doctor didn't know how to diagnose an illness? They could try to do their jobs with great earnestness, but they would not be able to do what they thought they had been trained to do. In every instance, they would find themselves inadequately prepared, and unable to do the most basic tasks. Most likely they would quit.

Patriarchy is one of the oldest systems humanity has lived with. It promises happiness, but has so far been unable to provide what it promises. When we hide the truth about patriarchy, we send people into the world believing they have all the training necessary to live successful lives. When they stumble over poverty, violence, hunger, and other social ills, they lack the basic training to deal with the issues. What most end up doing is hide the ugly truth from their neighbors, and so the scam continues - until someone stops and says, "We need to talk about this."

What scares patriarchy the most is a man or woman who stops to compare reality with ideology. As long as everyone suffers in silence and pretends to be a great success story, patriarchy can continue to convince generation after generation that it has all the answers. But when people begin to tell the truth about their lives, even if it is only a whisper to begin with, something happens. People begin to look for real answers, real solutions. And patriarchy has none.

Truth has the wonderful ability to mimic the sun in showing the dirt on one's clothes. Instead of being a benevolent system that benefits everyone, patriarchy is shown to benefit the few at the expense of the many. At the present, patriarchy benefits white, wealthy men, who use others to secure their own comfort. Instead of confronting their greed, we are told the problem is found on the streets where the poor live, and the solution is found in giving more money to the wealthy, for they are our true benefactors, like their Roman counterparts - except that they don't build imperial baths, or public buildings; they hide their money offshore for their own private enjoyment. Which leads us to the question: why should we give them more money? The answer is, because they (believe they) are entitled. That's the real face of patriarchy, the ugly truth that white, wealthy men do not want us to talk about - which means we really need to.